Long time no see...

Where do I even begin? I went home from the hospital and I called my home health company of choice Hendrick Housecalls but they said that Dr. K specifically ordered Abilene Home Health. I thought I would give this a try. Well, first off the nurse that came out to see me is the owners son. I asked him about irrigation and he said he had never heard of anyone irrigating. What?! That  was the plan all along. He was kinda cocky and he mentioned this was his second job, his first job was construction. That made no sense me, I need to be your first job. The pain medicine that Dr. K gave me wasn't working and I got severely dehydrated because I wasn't taking care of myself. So after a week of hurting I finally called DR. K. I went to see him and he wanted me to get labs and a UA and he didn't give me any pain meds. By this point I had already cancelled the home health people because they weren't doing much. I had a sore on my bottom that Chris took real good care of and we knew how to change my bag. So that afternoon  a home health nurse (from Abilene Home Health) came out and she was awesome! If they had sent her to me the first time I would have never cancelled home health and might have had better things to say about that company. Anyways, she came over and took some labs and did a straight cath on me to see how much urine was staying my bladder, she also took a UA. My peepee was dark and there was only 30cc! What does that mean? A. I was severely dehydrated
B. My bladder was working fine, I wasn't holding on to extra urine.
So that evening I was in so much pain I thought I was gonna die! Anne brought over some stronger pain meds for me and a heating pad. Then the owner of Abilene home health showed up (Chris had called). I had a UTI  (no shit Sherlock), he brought me some antibiotics and I started to feel better. Well leave it to Walgreens to mess everything up. They were taking forever to fill my antibiotics, I started to hurt more, and I was almost out of pain meds. I started freaking out! I felt very anxious and I felt like I couldn't breathe. Chris called Dr. K and he told me to go to trauma. This is about 10am on Friday morning. I was supposed to have a CT scan of my bladder at noon but guess what, that didn't happen. At about 2pm they finally get me in a room, but it's with the fast track nurse (she is the trauma center nurse that takes care of uninsured people with colds). She looks at my chart and says "I don't want to be rude, and it's not that I don't want to take care of you but you need to be in a different area of trauma. I think you need more help than I can give." By this time not only can I not breathe but my chest is starting to hurt along with the rest of my body. So they move me to another area. About 5 I have a slue of visitors, family and hospital personnel. Finally Henry Robinson PA came to see me. He works trauma center and he is amazing! He ordered IV fluids and IV pain meds! He also realized that I had developed chest pain so he ordered a chest CT. Guess what, I had fluid around my heart. I say it like that because my mom and Chris always think I'm just having panic attacks but this time it was real. They did a sono of my heart and trauma and called Dr. Shudde. Yes Dr. Shudde, he may have missed my cancer but I think anyone would have. Nobody expects colon cancer in a 28-30 year old. So, they admit me to the hospital AGAIN. But it was worth it. Something about IV fluids just makes you feel better. Anyways. While I'm in the hospital they do an ECHO (a closer sono of around my heart) and I meet a cardiologist. He wants to biopsy the fluid around my heart. Ok so here is the tally so far: incisions on my stomach, incisions on my ass, an open wound on my butt, a UTI, sever pain and now he wants to biopsy the fluid around my heart! Thank Jesus the cardiologist said I had a few days to think about it. Dr. Shudde came to see me the next day and I expressed my concerns and he convinced the cardiologist to just let me wait and do another echo in three months. Whew! Dodged a bullet there. Oh by the way, I'm also supposed to get a sleep study because I have signs of sleep apnea, but that was pushed to the side too! So while I'm in the hospital I get my bladder CT everything looked fine but I had a seroma (a collection of fluid) near my bladder. Must be where all the pain is coming from. So what did Dr. K say about it.....Nothing! He was ready to send me home. At this point I am getting 2mg of Dilaudid every 2 hours, I need it every hour and a half but I cant have it that quickly. My Nurse that day was awesome! She stood up to Dr. K for me letting him know how bad I was hurting. So, Dr. K is a no go for pain meds. Dr. Shudde comes in and we get started on morphine pills which help a lot but they don't take the pain all the way away but it was more pain relief than I've had in awhile. I go home (Wednesday). So I'm taking 30mg of morphine 3 times a day and I can have 15mg in between. So this goes on for weeks.......Then I decide, I need to get off this medicine because my body is now addicted to it and I need to see how much I;m hurting without it. (I knew my body was addicted because I went 24 hours without the 15mg pill and I started having withdrawal symptoms.) So I go see Dr. Shudde, this is Thursday October 3rd. He puts me on a step down.. I went from 120mg of morphine a day to 45mg of morphine a day. The next day I was hurting! I begged Chris to take me to trauma but he wouldn't. Finally I called my mother in law Anne who knows about addiction first had and she took me to trauma. I got there about 2:30, they let me stay in the family room so I can lie down. I didn't get back to a room til 10:00. I seriously thought I was dying! A few years ago my cousin Rachel died in ICU and a bunch of her female family members were around her to watch her go, myself included. Well.....a bunch of my female family members decided to visit me in trauma, I thought "oh no, I'm going to meet my maker!" Finally they start some IV fluids and give me a pill to relax and IV Phenergan for nausea. I get about 2 hours of sleep. When I I wake up its time to take one of my morphine pills. The trauma center Dr. says its ok so Chris gives me one. About 15 minutes go and the nurse is discharging me (yes i'm clearly detoxing and people die detoxing but they are discharging me) and I start to freak out! I'm freaking out because she is discharging me and my medicine is messing with my mind and body. It takes all I have to keep my shit together while Chris is driving home, we get there and I pass out. Sophie is at Anne's and is Isreal is at my mom's. The next day I wake up and I'm ok for alittle while but then I start freaking out again. This Freaking out feeling feels like every cell in my body wants to explode, I feel like I need to run but my body says stop and stay still. It is the worse feeling in the world and I never want to feel that way ever again, it was horrible. Its a very confusing and painful thing to go through. So the plan for the day is to get to Anne's house so she can take care of me while I detox and the kids don't have to see me. We get that arranged and the kids don't see me and I get better. There is some stuff that happens between Anne's house and me being better that I'm not ready to talk about. I promise when I am ready to talk about it, I'll let you know. I'm better now. I'm on quite a bit of pills (all of them non-narcotic) to help with the pain I still have in my bottom. I'm seeing a therapist for  my body image issues I'm having from my bag. The kids are good, Chris is wonderful, and I'm feeling much better. I am on chemo again 2 weeks on, 1 week off x 4 times, I should be done around January 4. I went the other day to see a geneticists and my DNA lab results will be back in 2 months, and I'll let you know the results of that. I got to see my Daddy Onger which always makes a for a good day! I'm ok, and I'm gonna be ok. Someday I'll be great again but it's gonna take awhile. This whole journey has been an big serving of humble pie because about the time I got diagnosed I was getting very cocky. Thank you to everyone who has continued to support me along the way, you  know who you are. Let me see what else....oh I start work on Monday and it's October so GET YOUR MAMMOS Ladies! Over 40 yearly unless there is a history of breast cancer, the general rule is 10 years before the diagnosis of a parent. Alright kids, see you later!